relationship
Exploring how we relate to ourselves, each other and our animate world
A part of our Earth Medicine Integration Programme
“At the core of this grief is our longing to belong. This longing is wired into us by necessity. It assures our safety and our ability to extend out into the world with confidence. This feeling of belonging is rooted in the village and, at times, in extended families. It was in this setting that we emerged as a species. It was in this setting that what we require to become fully human was established. Jean Liedloff writes, "the design of each individual was a reflection of the experience it expected to encounter." We are designed to receive touch, to hear sounds and words entering our ears that soothe and comfort. We are shaped for closeness and for intimacy with our surroundings. Our profound feelings of lacking something are not reflection of personal failure, but the reflection of a society that has failed to offer us what we were designed to expect.”
— Francis Weller
to all my relations
The first stage of our integration focusses on the importance of cultivating authentic, deep and supportive relationships. These relationships are not just with other people, but with ourselves and the animate world around us.
We live in a world that often values productivity and individualism over connection and community. We are taught to be self-reliant and to keep our vulnerabilities hidden, but this way of living is not sustainable or fulfilling. We are social creatures, and we need to feel connection and belonging in order to thrive.
It is so important to cultivate a deep and loving relationship with yourself. This means being kind and gentle with yourself, forgiving yourself for your ‘mistakes’, and treating yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a dear friend. When we cultivate a strong and loving relationship with ourselves, we become more resilient and better equipped to face life's challenges (and to allow deep compassion from others).
We all crave meaningful connections with others, but this can be difficult in a world that often prioritises superficial interactions. When we make the effort to form authentic and deep connections with others, we create a support system that can help us through difficult times. We feel seen, heard and understood, and we are better able to offer the same to others.
We often forget that we are part of a larger ecosystem and that we are connected to all living beings. When we cultivate a relationship with our ‘more-than-human’ kin around us, we gain a deeper understanding of our place in the world. We learn to appreciate the beauty and complexity of the natural world and we become more invested in enjoying, protecting and preserving it.
Cultivating authentic, deep and supportive relationships is not always easy. It requires vulnerability, empathy, and a willingness to be present with ourselves and others. Yet the rewards are immeasurable. When we live in community and connection, we feel more alive, more fulfilled, and more capable of facing life's challenges as interwoven beings sharing an empowered vision. So we encourage you to take the time to nurture your relationships with yourself, with others, and with the non-human world around you. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and the world.
“Contemplate the nature of interdependent co-arising during every moment,” the Buddha said. “When you look at a leaf or a raindrop, meditate on the conditions, near and distant, that contributed to the presence of that leaf of raindrop. Know that the world is woven of interconnected threads. This is because that is. This is born because that is born. This dies because that dies.” The leaf, as Buddha implied, is both a discrete entity - a thing - and a process that derives from sun, sky, and earth: light, photosynthesis, rain, organic matter, and minerals and perhaps even the activity of humans and animals. “The one contains the many and the many contains the one. Without the one, there cannot be the many. Without the many, there cannot be the one.”
practice
Find a place in nature, or bring a piece of nature inside, and meditate on our interdependent co-arising. Focus, be curious, place yourself, as the enquiring spirit, into the origination dance.
embodying it
Here are some reflective prompts, practices and ideas to deepen and expand the themes of relationship within your life. We encourage you to use the shared document for reflections as a group journal of sorts - a space to feel each other’s processes on the path of going forth and know that you are not alone in the complexity of what often arrises.
This is where the work really begins. In the subtle and not-so-subtle cultivation of a well life, a fulfilling life, a life you feel energised by. There will always be challenges, yet it is how we harness their teachings and learn to trust ourselves in the process of them that will shape our path towards ‘enoughness’.
We also want to remind you that you have everything you need for this work to be effective. Every day, every breath, every step, is an opportunity to begin again, try again, feel what it is to be you through new and ancient eyes, again. It is a gift to walk a healing path. Every effort you make for yourself, is also an effort for your community and for the future generations to come.
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Create your inner meeting space once more and see what parts of yourself show up. Invite a deepened dialogue with each one. Explore the facets of your makeup from a seat of compassion and curiosity.
How have your relationships with others changed since your Earth Medicine journey? Have you noticed any shifts in how you interact with the people in your life?
What are some of the qualities that you value in the people closest to you?
Are there any patterns or themes that you've noticed in your past relationships that you'd like to change going forward? How can you communicate your needs and boundaries more effectively?
How do you view your place in the world? Do you feel connected to nature and the environment?
What are some things that you're grateful for in your life? How do you express gratitude to the people and things that bring you joy and fulfilment?
What are the relationships with yourself, others and your more-than-human kin that you’re most grateful for in this moment?
How might you deepen your relationships? Could you join a local circle, create your own authentic gathering or invite deeper presence with the people, places and animate everything that surround you?
Reflect on the conversations your repeat with yourself. Can you invite new dialogue - new neural pathways towards compassion? Find the themes that do not serve you and offer yourself counter-affirmations.
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If you haven’t already, you can learn about Non-Violent Communication. This is a powerful practice throughout life to better understand and implement effective ways to communicate and resolve conflict. You can also encourage those nearest to you to learn too. It takes practice but it is very effective. Here is a 3 hour workshop with Marshall Rosenberg himself.
Write a letter of appreciation - a love letter - to someone (or multiple people) who you value having in your life. It will mean so much to them and will bring you joy in giving a token of your affection. It will also invite a deepening of authenticity and intimacy. If they are not ready to receive it, be prepared to trust yourself more deeply. Authentic expression can deepen and it can scare others. That is why having people in your life who you feel safe enough to be authentic with is so important.
Find or create real community - join or host a circle, get creative, invite an ettiequte that allows everyone’s voices to be heard.
Create rituals of radical self care - what is it that you truly need? How can you offer your nervous system relational support? Maybe a session of myofascial release would help you down-regulate and release tension. Find ways to attend to your needs for connection and compassion. Don’t forget that laughter is medicine too. Find ways to play and try new things.
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This is tender work. Many people who exprience a psychedelic ceremony often feel the call to reach out to loved ones and to more deeply appreciate them. If you felt th need to call someone, do it! Don’t forget those threads - tend to them. Remember that ou might have changed but they might not have, so go gently… find that seat of compassion and remember the medicine you bring to this world.
The Loving Kindness meditation is a classic practice to bring you into a seat of compassion for all of your relations. We also invite you to extend this into the non-human. This can make a powerful daily practice or prayer.
integration navigation
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Integration Home
Our main hut for the integration materials and shared resources.
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Reverence
Harness the medicine of child-like wonder and awe in your life in order to create deepened presence, curiosity, creativity, mystery and respect with this dance of existence you find yourself within.
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Reciprocity
Find meaning in your day to day interactions with the world around you through strengthening your acts of reciprocity, whilst celebrating your innate capacity for giving and receiving.